20 Things Every Teacher Thinks During Inservice

It's that time of year. School supplies lists are prominently displayed in every Wal-Mart and Target. Children are debating between Minecraft or Avengers backpacks. Teachers are preparing to only be known by their last names again. That's right. It's Back to School season.

While this is an exciting time for students as they decide which outfits to wear and think about seeing their friends, it can be a stressful time for teachers as they realize how much needs to get done before those small humans show up Monday morning. We are excited about the new year too, but the list of tasks seems to keep growing and growing until that first bell rings. Hang in there, fellow teachers! Somehow we will be prepared on time! Here is a small glimpse of what the week before the students return is like for every educator:

1. I'm glad school is starting, it'll be good to be back on a work schedule.... I think...

2. I wonder when we'll have time to work in our classrooms?

3. This year I will definitely not get behind on grading. What could possibly get in the way?

4. I'm going to use so much technology this year!

5. Who has time for technology when we have so much to cover?!?

6. I love being organized! I think this new organization system is definitely going to work all year long and be easy to keep up with. I'm sure I won't change it mid-year like I always have before.

7. Maybe we'll get to work in our classrooms today...

8. Maybe we'll get our class rosters today...

9.  I'M NEVER GOING TO GET MY CLASSROOM SET UP.

10. My bladder is NOT back on it's once-a-day schedule yet.

11. 20 minute break... is that enough time to go to Sonic?

12. This new curriculum seems so much better than last year!

13. Whoever wrote this new curriculum has obviously never taught before. 

14. When's lunch?

15. I wonder if I have __________'s little brother this year?

16. This is the year that my students won't lose every pencil they own. I can feel it.

17. Aww, these new teachers are so cute and motivated and unaware that college has prepared them for nothing.

18. This is a great 2-hour lecture about how to teach without lecturing.

19. How close is Starbucks?

And, lastly...

20. Bring it on, school year. Bring. It. On.

A Letter to my Future Students

As fantastic as summer has been, it's time to get real: School is starting just around the corner. Many of you may have started back already (God bless you), and the rest of us will be starting Monday. Right around this time I always start to think about the students that will walk into my classroom on the first day of school and I wonder what they will be like. I like to imagine that those same students are also wondering about what their teachers will be like. What would I tell them if I had the chance to talk to them before the year even begins? To practice their multiplication? To buy extra pencils since most of their will be lost within two weeks? Those are practical pieces of advise, sure. But I'd like to let those kids know a lot more. Having said that, here is an open letter to my future students:

Dear Little Minions,

Hello there! My name is Mrs. Murphy and I will be your math teacher this year in 4th grade. I'm sure some of you remember me from the days I had lunch duty with you last year. Yes, I spent those days wondering which of you would be in my class this year, and now we know! There are a few things you need to know as we begin this year. There are so many things I wish I could tell you... I wish I could tell you that every day will be fun in my class. I wish I could tell you that you will use every bit of math I teach you when you are an adult. I wish I could tell you that I will be kind and loving and patient every day. But I can't tell you those things. I can't tell you those things because they are not true.

You see, little ones, I want to be perfectly honest with you from the very beginning: I know there will be days that are hard. There will be days when you wonder "When will I ever need to use this?" In fact, on those days I'm probably wondering the same thing. I'll tell you the truth right now: the only time I ever use a protractor is when I teach you to use a protractor. That's just the way it goes sometimes, but I still have to teach you. Sometimes I will teach you things that are two or three years ahead of where your little brains are developmentally, and I promise that those days frustrate me as much as they frustrate you. And, yes, I hate standardized testing too. It's true! In fact, all of your teachers do. So, you see, we aren't that different, are we? Let's agree with one another right now that we won't let those frustrating moments overcome us, but that we will walk through them together. That's what I'm here for, after all.

I want to make sure all of you know the reason I teach. No, it's not because math facts are my passion. I became a teacher because I know that most of you have been forced to grow up long before you were ready, and I want my classroom to be a place where you can be a kid again. I don't know if you feel loved wherever you are now, but I teach so that when you are in my room you know that there is at least one person who thinks the world of you. When I see you, I see someone who was created on purpose and with a purpose. My hope is that we can discover what your purpose is together. I know that your world is unfair. I know that your world can be harsh. Little ones, your hands are too small to carry those burdens alone. Let me help you carry them. That is why I'm here.

Those are the reasons that I teach, but I need to admit to you that I don't always remember that. I need you to help me remember. On the days when I seem stressed, it's not because of you. It's because my job depends on how much you know rather than how well I know you, and that upsets me. But you, little ones, can help me remember the real reason I'm here. You can help me remember that I didn't become a teacher to get great test scores. Will you remind me on the days I forget? Remind me by giving me a hug when you see me. Remind me by showing me how excited you are about your new shoes. Remind me by telling me the real reason you didn't do your homework is because you were visiting dad in prison yesterday. Remind me by telling me the days you didn't eat any breakfast or dinner the night before. Remind me that the reason I'm here is because of who you are, not because of what I can make you do. I'll do my best to remember, but I need you as much as you need me.

I'm looking forward to our year together! I already love each one of you, and I can't wait to see all your new school supplies on the first day. Will this year be easy? Not always. But I guarantee it will be memorable. Let's walk together as we remind each other of our purpose, and 4th grade will be a year that I promise you will never forget. Welcome to my class!

With all my heart,
Mrs. Murphy

What I've Learned About Teaching

Well. Hello there. Yes, I know it's been almost three years since I posted anything. If you're an educator then you totally understand how crazy life can get and how easily time can slip away from you. If you aren't an educator, then we have nothing in common. (Ok, that might not be true... but it very well could be). I decided to get back on the blogging scene because a lot has happened in the past few years, and also because I truly enjoy writing about my experiences as a teacher.

First, I'll get you up to speed on what's happened since my last post in 2012 as a student teacher:

• November 2012: Started teaching elementary school
• December 2012: Began dating a cute boy
• December 2013: Married the cute boy
• July 2014: Moved to the Big City
• August 2014: Started teaching 4th grade at the best school anywhere in the history of places
• June 2015: Began a Masters program for Guidance and Counseling

And there you have it. Three years of my life summed up into six bullets. I'm torn between being impressed with my conciseness and disappointed at my lack of awesomeness. But, I must say, that third bullet has made my life way more awesomer than anything else I've ever done. Yes, awesomer. No judgement, I teach math.

I still can't believe that I'm about to begin my fourth year of teaching. I'd like to say that I can't believe it because time has gone by so fast, but it's mostly because I'm in denial that summer is almost over. Nevertheless, the past three years have zipped by in a blur. I've learned more in three years of teaching than I did in 4 1/2 years of college. Here are some extra nuggets I've picked up along the way:

Extra Nugget #8

Teaching is hard.

Calm down. No need to shout. I know it's shocking, but teaching is not for the faint of heart. Nothing in my life has made me more of an emotional train wreck than teaching (Except maybe engagement... sorry, Cute Boy. Your patience is quite chivalrous and I love you.) If you're looking for a job where you can feel defeated, stressed, tired, confused, and unappreciated, then teaching may be the job for you! Sometimes I wonder what ever made me choose this profession in the first place. Working with small humans is unpredictable and challenging, and often times I feel like all the hours I put in are not paying off. This is my field, and it's just how it is: teaching is hard.

Extra Nugget #9

Teaching is worth it.

My job is hard, no questions asked. I dare you to find a single teacher that disagrees. But my job is also worth it, and I think you'd be hard-pressed to find an educator that disagrees with me on that point as well. Yes, there are days when I leave school pulling my hair out and praying someone will finally put a coffee IV in the work room. However, there are days that leave me wondering why I would ever consider any other job...

 

Who else gets to see the quiet child finally come out of her shell the last weeks of school? 

Who else gets to be there to witness the "aha" moment when the lowest student does a math problem on his own for the first time? 

Who else gets to teach ten-year-old boys how to be a gentleman all year and finally see them opening the door for the girls in their class rather than running over them to be first? 

Who else gets to be there when a child comes back to school after losing his mom and just needs someone to hug him?

Who else gets to tell a young girl that she's beautiful, regardless of what her family tells her?

Who else gets to pray that a group of young people will discover their passions and the God who created them?

I do. We do. Teachers do. 

And those moments far outweigh the stressful times. Because the truth is that those small humans need someone to help them navigate this world, and I'll accept that challenge any day. Is it hard? Absolutely. I end each year unsure of how I made it out alive. 

But is it worth it? Undoubtedly.

Stay strong, teachers, as we prepare for a new school year. The small humans need us, and we can't afford to let them down.

Milestones

It’s 7^th period on a testing day. For you normal citizens who don’t spend your days with pre-teens, that’s code talk for “I’ve been sitting at my desk all day grading papers, checking emails, writing lesson plans, and keeping an eye on students that are high-risk snoozers and I’m bored out of my mind because I’ve run out of things I need to do.” This is precisely why I’m writing a blog during the school day rather than filling young minds to the brim with knowledge (or something like that). So don’t think I’m slacking off here. I need to do something to keep my sanity intact.

Anyways, there have been several milestones in my blossoming career over the past week. Oh, you want to hear all about them? I’m so glad you asked.

Extra Nugget #5

Rap music is always cool.

On Friday my students did a test review using QR codes and iPads. (If you don’t know what a QR code is, check this out. If you don’t know what an iPad is, it’s time to move off the farm.) It turned out to be a pretty cool activity. I made a bunch of QR codes that the kids could scan with an iPad and it would show a question for them to work out or a video to watch. This was my first venture into using interactive technology with my kiddos, which is something that’s becoming more commonplace in the classroom and is a valuable skill to acquire. One of the codes was linked to this video: (Please notice that someone decided to make the Order of Operations mascot a floating Afro-Space Man in a pink speedo. Thank you, graphic designer.)

It was a big hit. My favorite response came from one of my girls with plenty of swag: “Dang Miss B., this song go hard.” Word.

Extra Nugget #6

It’s the thought that counts.

I received my very first “I think you’re an awesome teacher” gift from a student! One of my girls walked up to me and said, “I need your wrist.” Sounded shady to me, especially since this sweet darling in particular has a pretty volatile temper and seems to hold grudges. Had I made her mad recently? Probably. Did she seem to like me? She always says I’m her favorite. I took the risk and stuck my hand out. She proceeded to put a silver A&M bracelet on my arm. “Oh wow, thanks! Did you buy this for me?” She shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not.” My mentor teacher and I aren’t entirely convinced it’s not stolen. Either way, I’m touched.

Extra Nugget #7

God provides. Always.

I’ve known this to be true most of my life, but every time the Lord blindsides me with unwarranted blessings I’m absolutely astounded.  Most of you know I’m graduating in December with a degree and desire to be a teacher. What you may not have considered is the difficulty of getting a teaching job when the school year is one semester underway. This is something I’ve been nervous/concerned about ever since I realized I would be graduating a semester late (one of the many perks of adding a minor to my degree), and I’ve been praying that the Lord would make it abundantly clear where I’m supposed to go after graduation. I assumed I would end up subbing for the spring semester and then get a full-time job next fall. When I heard about a long-term sub position opening up in a nearby town I was intrigued. When I sought more details and discovered it would last most of next semester and was a 6^th & 7^th grade math class I was hopeful. And when I landed an interview I was ecstatic. I was humbled by God’s provision and excited about the opportunity.

I didn’t get the job. I know, total buzz-kill. But here’s where my Jesus gets crazy: the very same day I found out I didn’t get that position another one of the math teachers where I’m student teaching informed me that she had recommended me for a 5^th grade science position.  SCIENCE, PEOPLE. If you weren’t aware, I love science. LOVE. IT. Probably because my favorite educator ever is a science teacher (I’m sure you’ve heard of Miss Frizzle… you know, from The Magic School Bus). I interviewed the next day and found out I got the job the day after that! You know what’s even crazier? It’s not a long-term sub position. Nope, my God delights in blessing me as a daddy delights in buying his little girl jewelry just to see her smile, so He took it a step further. I now have a full-time teaching job lined up to begin as soon as I finish student teaching in two weeks!

I cannot begin to express how overwhelmed with gratitude and joy I am at this moment. Yes, I have a real-life job waiting for me on the other side of Thanksgiving. And yes, my Jesus knew this is exactly where I needed to be. I don’t know what the rest of the year holds, but I do know who is holding it.  I can’t wait to meet you, sweet 5^th graders. He has amazing plans for us, my darlings.

Weezy

It's that time of year. The time when the weather starts slowly changing. Unexpected rain and temperatures in the 60's ninja their way into the forecast. Cardigans become a wardrobe staple. Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Fall.

Along with Fall, unfortunately, comes allergies for some of us. I'm steadily losing the ability to breath through my nose and beginning to punctuate sentences with sneezes and sniffles. One morning last week I woke up with Pink Puffy Nasty-Eye syndrome. I attempted to put in my contacts. Tears. Burning. Bad idea. So I wore my super trendy hipster glasses instead. I think they make me look smarter and more Pinteresty, but apparently my students didn't think so. More on this later.

Last week my kids learned how to subtract mixed numbers. On the Fun-O-Meter, 11-year-olds rank this somewhere between "Talking Politics with Elmo" and "Walking on Thumbtacks." I was scurrying from desk to desk helping students with their homework when one of my sweet girls stopped me.

"Miss B, you look like someone in your glasses but I can't think of who."

"Really? Well if you remember let me know..." *I continue helping another student*

"OH!! Miss B!! I know who it is! You look like Lil' Wayne!"

Let's pause for a moment of comparison, shall we? This is me:

And this is Lil' Wayne (I made the same face as him to make for a more accurate assessment):

What do you think? I can see her point. He is wearing glasses similar to mine. And we both have a nose. I’m pretty sure that’s where the comparison stops, though. So now I must ask myself, was this a compliment? Some twisted form of flattery? Is she saying I’m super swagged-out? Perhaps she’s suggesting that she believes I can drop some sick rhymes about mixed numbers (or should I say Myxed Numb3rs? Seems more hip that way).  On the other hand, I’m thinking I should be slightly concerned that she made this mental connection.

The rest of the class fell silent as they waited to see how I would react to this accusation. I could hear stifled snickers in the background. My mentor teacher was sitting at her desk making a “Did I hear that correctly?” face. My reaction was one of those moments when what was happening in my brain spilled out of my mouth, which is not always a good thing…

“Lil’ Wayne? I look like Lil’ Wayne? But he’s a man… and he’s black!”

*More stifled giggles. Mentor teacher loses composure and laughs hysterically.*

“Well if I look like Lil’ Wayne, then you look like Abraham Lincoln.”

“Naw Miss B, you be trippin’.”

Ah.  I be trippin’.  I hate it when that happens.

Dimples

Extra Nugget #4

Translating kid-speak into normal English is a valuable talent.

One of my students approached me before class this afternoon: "Miss B, can I ask you a question?"

How joyous! I must have motivated this dear student to ponder the mystery of integers outside of class. Surely his mind was consumed all day with such thoughts.  Of course he has a question for me, he's finally thinking about math independently and loving every minute of it. I silently celebrated this small victory, making a mental note to do my Happy Dance when no one was looking, and prepared to answer the math question that had been plaguing his thoughts all day. "Yes, of course! What can I help you with?"

He gave me the biggest smile he could possible fit across his little face and pointed to his cheeks. "Miss B, do I have nipples on my face?"

Yup. I love my job.

My Persian Palace

Student (and one teacher) quotes of the week thus far:

“Miss B, just so we’re on the same page… I AM your favorite, right?”

“Ahh man, it feels like Africa in here!” (apparently the room was hot)

“Of course I drink coffee, Miss B! I’m country!!!” –Diva #2 (Of Divas 1,2, and 3… who all sit together)

And lastly, from  7^th grade math teacher Mrs. C: “I tried to draw a thermometer to illustrate a real-life number line, but all the kids started laughing. I took a step back and looked at what I had drawn to see what the issue was, and that’s when I saw it: Wiener. I had drawn a giant wiener. Lesson of the day: don’t draw thermometers.”

This is my life.  And thank goodness for these moments that make me cry because I’m laughing so hard, because there are certainly other moments that just make me want to cry.  I discovered today that I can teach my heart out and explain a concept a hundred different ways, but if my students are already convinced they’re going to fail then I might as well be speaking Latin to them.  I love my students.  Yes, I adore my kids.  But today when that last bell rang I felt defeated.  I was struck by the realization that it doesn’t matter how great of a math teacher I become, some of these kids just refuse to try.  Why? Because their whole life they’ve heard nothing but the message that they’re a failure, they will always be a failure, and they will never be anything greater than what they are right now.  I found myself trying to figure out how on earth I could get these kids to understand how to simplify fractions when they gave up trying to understand fractions three years ago, and I couldn’t find an answer.  I had lost.  I had no way of making them understand.  You can’t build a house on a crumbling foundation, and some of my students didn’t have a foundation to begin with.  What am I supposed to do with that?

That was my mindset when I left school…. but then I went to Bible study.  It was on a whim, really.  I hadn’t planned on joining a women’s study because I’m leading a college girls’ study this semester, but I just kept feeling the whispers of the Spirit sending me in that direction. Turns out we’ll be studying Nehemiah. Cool. Who is that again? Well, let me tell ya: Nehemiah was the cupbearer of the King of Persia.  He was living a pretty swanky life, kicking it in the palace.  He was literally living in a Persian resort.  Now I’ve never been to a Persian resort, but it sounds rather enticing, doesn’t it? At this time Jerusalem was in a state of disrepair, to say the least.  It had been passed from one ruler to the next, and the city was almost completely destroyed.  The Jewish people who survived were suffering unimaginable loss and pain.  Nehemiah heard of this and was overwhelmed with emotions:

“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven.” Nehemiah 1:4

He wept. I don’t think I’ve ever wept and mourned because someone else was suffering.  Sure, I’ll weep when two lovebirds profess their feelings for one another in a romantic comedy (thanks a lot, estrogen), but I’ve never been moved to such emotions because I’ve heard of someone’s unfortunate reality.  What strikes me as most unbelievable is that Nehemiah had everything he could ever ask for.  He had never experienced that kind of loss, yet he was still heartbroken for those people… and chose to do something about it.

This struck me to the core.  What I thought was frustration that my students couldn’t grasp math concepts was actually unwarranted arrogance on my part.  Here I am, living comfortable in my Persian palace, and before me in those desks sit people who are broken victims of their circumstances.  If my next meal wasn’t guaranteed I probably wouldn’t be too concerned about writing decimals properly either.  I have no way of knowing if my kids are receiving love outside of those school walls, and every day for the past 2 weeks I’ve trampled over countless opportunities to address the misguided truths that have taken root in their hearts.  I have done nothing to address the lies they believe.  Some world changer I’ve been.  It’s time for new perspective.

Tomorrow I enter the classroom with a new goal.  I know my students are hurting and it breaks my heart.  But that pain they feel just points to the fact that their hearts are longing for the paradise they were created for by a God who desperately wants to fill their empty souls with a love that never fails.  The world tells me it'll be too hard to make them understand that.  The Spirit tells me they're worth it...

Challenge accepted.