I hate packing. All of my possessions are currently scattered between three different houses: my parents' house in Southeast Texas (home base, if you will), the house I've been living in for the past two years with my college roommates, and the house I'm in the process of moving into just down the street with a new set of girls. I reached a point earlier today where I considered just throwing everything out and starting completely over. That way I could avoid packing things. I pondered this thought and a wave of relief gently rolled over me... and then I was struck by the hurricane of reality. Stop being ridiculous, Lyns. Pull yourself together.
I promise I'm not being a prissy-faced packing diva who hates doing any sort of work for fear of ruining a manicure. The issue is not only that all of my clothes seemed to have taken fertility drugs and sprouted offspring, but this move symbolizes quite a significant shift in my life. I've spent two years with the ladies of the Janky House (as we so fondly call our humble abode... and it is, indeed, janky) and that's a lot of time to invest in a roommateship to just pack up and leave. Literally. That's roughly 9% of my life I've spent with these ladies. And don't get it twisted, I'm not moving out because we don't get along or I'm just fed up with their quirks. I love Fay's corduroys and trendy music and have come to anticipate Kristen's hysterical nursing stories and spontaneous choreographing. Molly, our old roommate who left in December, was an integral part in the founding of Boots & Skirts (the Janky House a cappella band) and our newest roomie, Brie, can actually sing in real life and is the only person whose love language is abbreviations. No, we aren't leaving on bad terms at all.
In reality it seems that we have come to the point in our lives where we are all being cast into open waters aboard vessels with varying destinations. Fay is off to love inner-city students in Tennessee that the rest of the world has deemed unlovable. Kristen will soon be saving lives in Haiti and bringing hope to people who are all too familiar with hurt. Molly is well on her way to making her first million in Austin and building relationships with people who are enslaved by their pursuit of corporate success. Brie will be fighting for social justice through providing an education to students in Houston. And I... well, I'm moving down the street.
Ok, so I'm feeling a little stuck. It overjoys me to see my dear sister-friends following the calling of the Lord all over the world. I cannot wait to hear of His faithfulness in their lives, truly. But in the back of my head, as much as I hate to admit it, there's a small voice whispering, "But what about me?" I know my God has not forgotten me. He promises he won't in Isaiah 49:15. I also know that He knew all my days before I was even born (Psalm 139:16). So if these things are true (and I believe that they are... you know, that whole inerrant thing the Bible has going on), then I know that the place I find myself in tonight is by design. I know I have purpose in being here.
One night after we had just started living together I was dealing with something that I was distraught over. Honestly, I can't even remember what the issue was any more. What I do remember, however, is sitting in our living room seeking wisdom from Kristen with tears running down my face. Her advice was simple, yet remarkably profound: "Pray. Seek His face." Now, two years later, I find myself still living by those four words. I have prayed. I have sought Him. And this is where He has brought me. The same hands that shaped galaxies took hold of mine and gently guided me to this place. Because, honestly, here's the truth: the Gospel brings life to anyone who is shackled by death, and regardless of where we go we will find ourselves walking amongst corpses. I pray that He uses each of us to spread everywhere the knowledge of Him, bringing with it the sweet fragrance of life. He is still leading, and I will still follow.
So here I sit, neglecting the much needed packing in order to reflect on what exactly is going on in my life, and I do believe I will leave this couch with more confidence than when I plopped down here 45 minutes ago. Perhaps this new nugget of knowledge will be the motivation I need to finish:
Extra Nugget #2
Even if you aren't going anywhere, it doesn't mean God isn't leading you somewhere.
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